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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Something In the Way She Smiles...


A Glimpse of Immortality

Yeah, yeah, we’ve all heard that: a guy who gushes about his grandchild. This is different.

I had the most amazing opportunity of spending four days with my granddaughter Kiara at our house, Imagine, in Goa. It rang true to its name. Imagine: Goa had a cool Spring; even in March, people wanted wraps sitting out on our patio; unusual weather to herald Kiara’s first trip to Goa. Imagine: she is just two months old.

Her presence at Imagine blew away my routine: newspapers, tea, bread and cheese, figs and pineapples for breakfast. The papers were left unread and between bites of “poi” (fabulous Goan bread) laden with butter, goat cheese and blueberry jam, I sat in the patio with her. Granddad or whatever, I am her personal physical trainer, working her arms and legs, lifting her up and down, turning her side to side, getting her in training for whenever Olympics.

She seemed to love it. Her smile was to die for. And that sort of works: when the sixties refer not to the Beatles generation  but to the candles on your birthday cake.

The deal is everyone smiles with their eyes. Kiara’s bright black eyes were fascinating. Shining like full-beam headlights, they dazzled me. I kept staring at them and she looked back unblinking. “Dude,” her eyes seemed to say, “Look into my eyes. I am your glimpse of immortality.”

Whoa! That’s intense coming from a child that is younger than the vintage of the plonk they serve as Indian wines. I stared harder. And in them, I saw several films, only one of which I could understand.

This was the story of a guy born in Surat, grew up in Bombay and made his home in Chicago, where one cold, snowy winter his daughter (Kiara’s mother) was born. After a complimentary steak and champagne dinner in my wife’s hospital room, we brought the baby back next day to our condo in Oak Park and doted on her and continue to do so three decades later.

Hanging with Kiara on our patio in the cool of a Goa morning, I thought of every morning in Chicago, horsing around with her mother and she also smiled. Months later, the baby, at the smallest provocation, laughed like a certified lunatic and we have a cassette (remember those?) of her in hysterical gales of laughter. We hope to present that to Kiara when she is older; which is why I am saving my old school but slick Nakamichi cassette player.

When our daughters were born, we were too busy to think philosophy. We had to attend to them and love them; no time for bigger issues. As a grandparent, and mostly because I am so much older, I can look into Kiara’s eyes and see a continuity, once removed. It sounds weird but I see in her eyes an assurance that my life has not just been wasted making a living. Her look tells me: “Yo, 20th century man, you did well!”

In my mind, she is the Nobel Prize my daughter awarded me.


Friday, March 2, 2012

A Conversation with My Granddaughter


Me: Yo Kiara, wassup.
Kiara: (disappointed look)
Me: You must have heard about Jack and Jill?
She: (incoherent)
Me: They were the ones that went up the hill…
She: (incoherent)
Me: Jack fell down and broke his crown…
She: (incoherent)
Me: And Jill came tumbling after
She: (incoherent)
Me: Dang, Sweetie, it’s a Cliff Richard song.
She: (incoherent)
Me: Doe a deer, a female deer…
She: (incoherent)
Me: Ray, a drop of golden sun…
She: (incoherent)
Me: Jeez kid, what does it take to get you interested?
She: (raspberry)
Me: Ok cool, I got a response; you’re all there, baby.
She: (blank stare)
Me: Ok, how about this?
 She: (blank stare)
Me: (a random boney m song)
She: (farts and poops)
(Cleanup)
Me: So yo, you like the Beatles?
She: (smiles)
Me: If there’s anything that you want, if there’s anything I can do…
Pia (her mother): Yep, Dad, a baby Ipad for her.
Me: (sigh!)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

To My Newborn Granddaughter


Dear Kiara,

You will get to know me eventually, Right now; you are focused on your mother, my daughter. When your Mom learned to stand up, somewhat shakily, she held on to my knee and rocked, listening to the Beatles. I loved your Mom when she was growing up and my life revolved around her. She laughed a lot and I have a cassette that captures her near lunatic laughter. But you will never know what a cassette is

While you spend your early days feeding and sleeping, understand please you have changed our world. Nothing is more important in my life than to spend an hour watching you sleep or to hassle you when you are awake. I must confess, much as I love you like there was no tomorrow, I am not a big fan of your farts and your poop. Your Mom did that too and I had no choice but to deal with it

When your Mom was in my arms, just a few days after John Lennon was murdered, I sang to her the song, Vaishnava Jan,  Mohandas Gandhi made famous. The lyrics were in Gujarati and talked about being a good person: be compassionate, never talk ill about anyone, don’t be vain, et cetera. You will be proud to know that Narasinh Mehta, who wrote the song more than 600 years ago is an ancestor of yours

You should also be thrilled to know that on your grandmother’s side, there were musicians in the 1950s and the 1960s that popularized jazz and rock through Hindi films. On your grandfather’s side, there were great Indian classical musicians and dancers and film stars. I will tell you about them when you grow up. We also have in our family great writers, scientists and people who have made names in business the world over.

On your father’s side there are equally accomplished people: entrepreneurs, architects, artists, professionals and what have you; not to mention one of the most famous actresses in Bollywood. Your Dad will tell you about them.

Your grandmother is widely renowned as a good cook and choral singer. She will teach you the intricacies of piano and classical singing and also all manner of alternative living. Everyone loves her, not just me. Your grandfather, as in me, will introduce you to the joys of reading and writing and activism. I am also happy to teach you swear words but I don’t think that will go down well with the clan on both sides.

Your Mom has a sister you will adore and love mindlessly; she will teach you the joys of casual sophistication. She will snow you with her lovable personality and her ability to handle the world with biting sarcasm and humor. Listen to her; she has a way in the world that I admire; plus she used to live in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Need I say more?

Finally, a word about your Mom: apart from being the most organized person in the family, she is a softie and a traditionalist. I love her and have been close to her since I first held her with as a newborn with guck all over her. She is a superstar..

We love ya and welcome you into both families. You are a superstar plus.

With immeasurable love,
Your Granddad..

PS Just call me “Sir.”